Welcome to the Land of Pure

786 KM away from Holy King­dom of Sau­di Ara­bia, amidst Hin­du Repub­lic state alias “Bol­ly­wood Land”, infi­del state of Chi­na & broth­er­ly Islam­ic states of Iran & Afghanistan, lays Banana wel­fare state of Pak­istan aka the Land of Pure.

Al-Bak­istan was found­ed by an Arab horse­man Moham­mad Bin Qasim who invad­ed and con­quered this Gold­en Spar­row with his mar­tial skills learned at child­hood. With the advent of time, foun­da­tions laid down by Bin Qasim were rein­forced by con­crete bars in its base as more Afghans, Arabs and lat­er British came. One sig­nif­i­cant men­tion is of Mah­mud Ghaz­an­vi who made 17 attempts to play his part in edi­fy­ing the Land of Pure.

Peo­ple of this Fortress of Islam are 101% Mus­lims. Yet each 101% claims to be 102% more Mus­lim than the oth­er fel­low. His claim is fur­ther nul­li­fied by anoth­er claim of 103% and so on. With Islam as iden­ti­ty card, and beard and burqa as nation­al iden­ti­ty sym­bols, cit­i­zens of any coun­try with such dis­tinc­tions can claim Paki’s nation­al­i­ty. There is a small num­ber of minori­ties too but they will soon be con­vert­ed, Insha Allah. Till then all their rights and free­doms are ful­ly pro­tect­ed in this Fortress.

Nar­rat­ed by first F‑16 of Al-Bak­istan:
‘har mulk mulk-maast; kay har mulk khu­daye maast’
“Each coun­try belongs to us as it does belongs to our Lord”
All 66666 km² area of the world belongs to the peo­ple of the Land of Pure. The pri­ma­ry oblig­a­tion of the state of Al-Bak­istan is towards Ummah. The­o­ret­i­cal­ly con­nect­ed through holy vers­es, it is crav­ing to be unit­ed again. The gold­en prin­ci­ple of for­eign pol­i­cy is that the whole of Ummah is like a sin­gle body and feels agony and pain as a whole. So, if any unusu­al act takes place in Ummah, unrest and rage is faced all over the world. Ral­lies, protests and con­dem­na­tion are issued quick­ly. And fol­low­ing that, styl­ish mir­ror DP’s are replaced by wavy 4 fin­gered R4BIA.

The land of pure also excels in issu­ing advices and orders to the rest of the world. Who must rule Syr­ia? Which type of gov­ern­ment must be in Turkey? Whether Afghanistan be ruled by Tal­iban or a demo­c­ra­t­ic set­up? How Sau­di Ara­bia can progress in dif­fer­ent walks of life? How can Mus­lims unite them­selves to rule the whole globe? These are some of the ques­tions that peo­ple of Al-Bak­istan feel them­selves respon­si­ble for.

Con­spir­a­cy mon­ger­ing is one of the chief spe­cial­ties of Al-Bak­istan. From a cat cross­ing road to earth­quake, the mys­tery is resolved by only one expla­na­tion: involve­ment of for­eign hand through agents of CIA, RAW or MOSSAD because these infi­dels do not want to see Al-Bak­ista­nis as the rul­ing nation of the world. The for­eign agents stoop so low in their con­niv­ing plans that through evil devices such as polio vac­ci­na­tion and Moun­tain Dew, they try to infer­tile the peo­ple of The Land of Pure.

The indige­nous cul­ture of Al-Bak­istan is sym­bol­ized by beard and burqa dat­ing back to pre-Ara­bic times. As ear­ly founders of this nation were Arabs so any­thing from Arab world has to be con­sid­ered holy and sacred. But some his­to­ri­ans, at the behest of for­eign pow­ers, are try­ing to prove that cul­ture of the Land of Pure dates back to 5000 years ago Indus Val­ley civ­i­liza­tion. Nat­u­ral­ly this for­eign con­spir­a­cy is unac­cept­able and we do not want to hear a word about it.

Nation­al lan­guage should have been Ara­bic but some lib­er­al fas­cists advised the father of mod­ern Pak­istan – The Great Quaid – to instead make Urdu the nation­al lan­guage. Eng­lish, the lan­guage of infi­dels, is unfor­tu­nate­ly also the source of offi­cial com­mu­ni­ca­tion in Al-Bak­istan. So under­stand­ably some­one who speaks Urdu or Ara­bic is more Mus­lim and patri­ot­ic than oth­ers.

Khi­lafat must have been the gov­ern­ing sys­tem of Al-Bak­istan but due to for­eign hand, infi­del demo­c­ra­t­ic sys­tem was grad­u­al­ly intro­duced. But it is not a com­plete dis­ap­point­ment either as many Mus­lim broth­ers and sis­ters are run­ning cam­paigns to bring about Sharia. Accord­ing to this divine sys­tem, the title of PM will be changed to Ameer-ul-Mom­i­neen, CJ to Qazi, the paper cur­ren­cy of Rupees will be replaced by Ashrafi and dinar and all the issues of the Land of Pure will be resolved.