786 KM away from Holy Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, amidst Hindu Republic state alias “Bollywood Land”, infidel state of China & brotherly Islamic states of Iran & Afghanistan, lays Banana welfare state of Pakistan aka the Land of Pure.


Al-Bakistan was founded by an Arab horseman Mohammad Bin Qasim who invaded and conquered this Golden Sparrow with his martial skills learned at childhood. With the advent of time, foundations laid down by Bin Qasim were reinforced by concrete bars in its base as more Afghans, Arabs and later British came. One significant mention is of Mahmud Ghazanvi who made 17 attempts to play his part in edifying the Land of Pure.


People of this Fortress of Islam are 101% Muslims. Yet each 101% claims to be 102% more Muslim than the other fellow. His claim is further nullified by another claim of 103% and so on. With Islam as identity card, and beard and burqa as national identity symbols, citizens of any country with such distinctions can claim Paki’s nationality. There is a small number of minorities too but they will soon be converted, Insha Allah. Till then all their rights and freedoms are fully protected in this Fortress.

Foreign Policy:

Narrated by first F-16 of Al-Bakistan:
‘har mulk mulk-maast; kay har mulk khudaye maast’
“Each country belongs to us as it does belongs to our Lord”
All 66666 km2 area of the world belongs to the people of the Land of Pure. The primary obligation of the state of Al-Bakistan is towards Ummah. Theoretically connected through holy verses, it is craving to be united again. The golden principle of foreign policy is that the whole of Ummah is like a single body and feels agony and pain as a whole. So, if any unusual act takes place in Ummah, unrest and rage is faced all over the world. Rallies, protests and condemnation are issued quickly. And following that, stylish mirror DP’s are replaced by wavy 4 fingered R4BIA.

Guardian and Caretaker of the Brotherhood:

The land of pure also excels in issuing advices and orders to the rest of the world. Who must rule Syria? Which type of government must be in Turkey? Whether Afghanistan be ruled by Taliban or a democratic setup? How Saudi Arabia can progress in different walks of life? How can Muslims unite themselves to rule the whole globe? These are some of the questions that people of Al-Bakistan feel themselves responsible for.

Conspiracy Mongering:

Conspiracy mongering is one of the chief specialties of Al-Bakistan. From a cat crossing road to earthquake, the mystery is resolved by only one explanation: involvement of foreign hand through agents of CIA, RAW or MOSSAD because these infidels do not want to see Al-Bakistanis as the ruling nation of the world. The foreign agents stoop so low in their conniving plans that through evil devices such as polio vaccination and Mountain Dew, they try to infertile the people of The Land of Pure.


The indigenous culture of Al-Bakistan is symbolized by beard and burqa dating back to pre-Arabic times. As early founders of this nation were Arabs so anything from Arab world has to be considered holy and sacred. But some historians, at the behest of foreign powers, are trying to prove that culture of the Land of Pure dates back to 5000 years ago Indus Valley civilization. Naturally this foreign conspiracy is unacceptable and we do not want to hear a word about it.


National language should have been Arabic but some liberal fascists advised the father of modern Pakistan – The Great Quaid – to instead make Urdu the national language. English, the language of infidels, is unfortunately also the source of official communication in Al-Bakistan. So understandably someone who speaks Urdu or Arabic is more Muslim and patriotic than others.

Government System:

Khilafat must have been the governing system of Al-Bakistan but due to foreign hand, infidel democratic system was gradually introduced. But it is not a complete disappointment either as many Muslim brothers and sisters are running campaigns to bring about Sharia. According to this divine system, the title of PM will be changed to Ameer-ul-Momineen, CJ to Qazi, the paper currency of Rupees will be replaced by Ashrafi and dinar and all the issues of the Land of Pure will be resolved.

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