Damn You If You’re Gorgeous Bless You If You’re a Goon

“Have More Than You Show, Speak Less Than You Know” – Williams Shake­speare

The 17th Cen­tu­ry Bard of Avon would find lit­tle affec­tion and def­er­ence for his words in a nation which views all that comes from the West with skep­ti­cism. Maghra­bi Ista­mar, Amre­ki Bal­adasti and yep Yahoo­di Sazish is what keeps us way away from the con­spir­a­cies of the West. Pak­istan is a wit­ty astute nation which knows that all what Goras preach is but a stain of dev­il and that we must at all times find our­selves at the oth­er shore of the dis­course. So be it human rights, gen­der equal­i­ty or Shake­spear­i­an phi­los­o­phy, we would always stand in oppo­si­tion to what the West stands for. Thus by the grace of the Almighty and with the strength of our backs and the sweat of our brows, we have mas­tered the art of “Hav­ing less Than We Show and Speak­ing More Than We Know.”

Ever since a nefar­i­ous deemed for hell mod­el Ayyan Ali has attract­ed the fury of the heav­ens, this pon­der­ous nation has bestowed upon itself the celes­tial chore of drag­ging this rebel of God to her well-deserved fate and in course of this expe­di­tion reveal the unjust nature of our Crim­i­nal Jus­tice Sys­tem. The social media (our bene­dic­tion straight from the Heav­ens) thus with the usu­al abuse and slur tac­tic has employed some new ammo among its arse­nal, that of ana­lyt­ic com­par­a­tive skills. It has exposed how this inept sys­tem of ours is fail­ing to dis­par­age a crea­ture far from redemp­tion; have a gaze at this breath­tak­ing piece of research:

• A pic­ture of the damsel in dis­tress is attached with a kid who was arrest­ed over kite fly­ing charges and the cap­tion elab­o­rates the injus­tice that pre­vails in this abhor­rent soci­ety. The bot­tom line is that if the kid fly­ing kites is hand­cuffed why not is the hot mod­el (for it would have been good fod­der for sadist cat­tle).
The pic­ture is enough to pierce the hearts of many as they sit by their pray­ing mats curs­ing Ayyan Ali. Lit­tle pon­der upon the fact that the Lal Masjid Mama “Umm-e-Has­san” and her band of girls when brought before the ATC in 2007 were also not hand­cuffed, the same tran­spired for the wives of Osama Bin Laden as they faced tri­al in Islamabad’s Immi­gra­tions Court. But off course com­par­i­son of those heav­en­ly lep­rechauns with this hell bound babe is may be offence enough to earn a fat­wa on your head, thus we would just place it on the record that the CrPC 1898 for­bids a woman being hand­cuffed and as per the kid he sure­ly got bailed out with­in 12 hours as kite fly­ing is cov­ered by sec­tion 144 of the PPC, where­as Ayyan Ali has spent more than 100 days behind the bars so slake your con­science.

• Anoth­er pic­ture places Ayyan Ali and the AXACT CEO Shoaib Sheikh with the cap­tion reveal­ing the fact that the AXACT saga is a mere false flag oper­a­tion to woe the pub­lic away from this Ayyan Ali break of the cen­tu­ry. The post also asks if the crime of Shoaib Sheikh is big­ger than that of Ayyan Ali.
In short the FBI, the New York Times, the Gulf author­i­ties and the Inter­na­tion­al Accred­i­ta­tion Coun­cil have al col­lud­ed with the Gov­ern­ment of Pak­istan to bring relief to Ayyan Ali, for patent­ly a glob­al mul­ti-bil­lion fake degrees scam is noth­ing com­pared to the deeds of this odi­ous mod­el.
Based on this exten­sive research and elab­o­rate analy­sis an almost Arab jour­nal­ist host­ed a late night show (of par less com­ic val­ue than that of the David Let­ter­man show) titled “A mod­el chal­lenges the state of Pak­istan”. The bot­tom line of the said piece of amuse­ment was that wear­ing obscene design­er clothes and hav­ing make­up is equiv­a­lent to sab­o­tage upon the state of Pak­istan and thus guilty she is. Stag­gered by this con­found­ing analy­sis one is forced to plead for a few more beans. An analy­sis of the under­lined would great­ly ben­e­fit the con­science of the parish­ioners:

• A for­mer­ly dec­o­rat­ed Com­man­der-in-Chief of Pakistan’s Armed Forces recent­ly appeared before the Islam­abad High Court in a case per­tain­ing to the force­ful incom­mu­ni­ca­do deten­tion of judges and their fam­i­lies against their will. The gut­sy com­man­do name­ly Gen­er­al ® Per­vez Mushar­raf drove in a car­a­van of Lux­u­ry SUVs escort­ed by a pla­toon of Rangers. The chest thump­ing for­mer dic­ta­tor arrived at court expect­ing a bail as he had man­aged in half a dozen oth­er cas­es but as hard for­tunes got his plea reject­ed the gal­lantry evap­o­rat­ed. The pla­toon of Rangers, despite orders from the High Court regard­ing the dictator’s arrest, whisked him away from the premis­es of his court to his farm­house in Islam­abad which after the courts insis­tence for arrest was con­vert­ed into a sub-jail. Where the dic­ta­tor spent his evenings sip­ping cof­fee and puff­ing cig­ars. (Any thoughts of chal­leng­ing the state?)

• A serv­ing min­is­ter in the KPK gov­ern­ment Ali Amin Gan­da­pur was charged sep­a­rate­ly by the DPO, the RPO, the SHO and the Assis­tant Com­mis­sion­er with the man­han­dling of the polling staff and the police present, and tam­per­ing of the elec­toral bal­lots. The mus­tache min­is­ter drove tran­quil­ly to his home where he resided for two days untouched and unaf­fect­ed. Post hue and cry he was escort­ed by the police in his own vehi­cle to the Police Rest House where he spent a cool night to get a bail the next morn­ing.

• A for­mer min­is­ter of the Sindh gov­ern­ment Zul­fiqar Mirza now in a feud with his par­ty was booked under the Anti-Ter­ror­ism Act on about a dozen dif­fer­ent counts. Live footages of him van­dal­iz­ing state prop­er­ty and threat­en­ing police offi­cers were aired on the nation­al tele­vi­sion. The macho mani­ac got bail in all of the dozen cas­es and also received a per­mit to fly abroad.

• Ali Rohail Asghar, the son of sit­ting MNA Rohail Asghar, was brought before the court in a case per­tain­ing to usage of ille­gal­ly acquired arms. All the lad was wor­ried about was whether he looked charm­ing or not. The courts grant­ed him bail to assure his looks don’t go fade.

• Tum­man Butt, the dis­trict pres­i­dent of the rul­ing PML‑N in Gujran­wala, was arrest­ed in case per­tain­ing to dis­rup­tion of pub­lic order. The police soon real­ized the mis­take it had com­mit­ted and ensured the bail be pro­cured for him. The infa­mous butt was tak­en to two spate mag­is­trates and bail was final­ly achieved on Sun­day.

Unlike Ayyan Ali all of the above appeared in courts flash­ing vic­to­ry signs to the cam­eras and to the flow­ers ped­dling sup­port­ers of theirs. They not only threw fly­ing kiss­es to the audi­ence at their arrival but also did not for­get to wave punch­es on their way back. All of them attract­ed jubi­la­tions over the social media with trends like #With­y­ouMushar­raf and #IamGan­da­pur trend­ing all over. On the oth­er hand lays a mod­el – hum­ble and con­trite – who despite spend­ing 100 times more a peri­od behind the bars than all of these goons com­bined is met­ed with abus­es, slurs, and hatred, for the make­up on her face steals the mer­ri­ment of many away who wish to see her belit­tled. A nation with an enslaved apti­tude hails the goons who step on them and curs­es the mod­est who walk ten­der.