women impowerment

Fate of an Accomplished Girl

She woke up with so much enthusiasm, anticipation, and joy. It was the day her dreams were going to be true. The fresh morning breeze was filled with excitement and essence of her dreams. She breathed the fresh air and felt relieved. It was the day she was going to graduate, it was her convocation ceremony. She chose her best dress to wear for the special day. She was ready, looking so beautiful and gorgeous as she had never looked before. She started revising the speech she was going to deliver as the highest achiever, the best student. She read it aloud in front of the mirror and felt confident. The last thanking words were for her parents and she would say these and surprise them in front of everyone. The most beautiful moment for her was just about to start.

She had already received so many job offers. She knew which one of them she was going to accept. She knew that she would become a lecturer. Meanwhile she would also work as a women’s rights activist. She would motivate her students to pursue their dreams. She always wanted to be a source of help and inspiration for others, particularly for girls who are in dire need of that. She was thankful to her parents because it was only possible because of them.

She was so excited that she was not able to have breakfast. Laughing and smiling, she along with her parents arrived at college. She was shivering with joy when she entered the great hall. The ceremony began, the chief guest arrived, and soon the degrees and gold medals were distributed to the position holders and then it was her turn. She was called to the stage in the chanting slogans of her class fellows and the claps of the audience. She gained strength and started her speech on the importance of women’s education and work. She added, “I am standing here because of my parents, they always stand by me, they make me believe in me, they make me feel that I can do the impossible, they are my backbone and whenever I fall down they make me stand.”

It was the most amazing day of her life. Her teachers congratulated her parents, they were so proud, she could tell by looking into their eyes.

Her joyous tears were now replaced by tears of grief, and she found herself totally confused. She thought her parents were supporting her because it was her right to get education, not so that she could merely get married to some rich person.

They came back home, she was excited to tell her parents about the job offers and her future plans that she had in her mind for so long. As she approached her dad and mom, they told her how proud they are and that they had decided something for her for her own betterment. They told her that they have found someone for her, who is of her age and has a respectable job. They also said that he earned so much that she would never have to do a job and be stressed about monetary issues, he owned a house and have no family so he would be a perfect match. Her qualification matches best to his, and having him as her future husband will be so helpful for her. She was numbed with this shocking news; her feet were hard to move, she felt she could not breathe any more, she could not feel any joy any more, and the smell of the fresh air was gone. Her joyous tears were now replaced by tears of grief, and she found herself totally confused. She thought her parents were supporting her because it was her right to get education, not so that she could merely get married to some rich person. She thought her parents were with her because they wanted her to accomplish her dreams, but wait a second, they didn’t want her to do the job, and it was just to find the right match.

Why do girls have to meet such a fate? If you think that she did not deserve this, then why do you choose the same for your own daughters? Have you ever questioned that? Have you ever thought of her dreams, her desires, and her right to do what she wants? Education is the right of every human being – a girl or a boy. Most importantly a girl needs education for her self-esteem; so that she can recognize her potential and can distinguish between right and wrong.

Breathe to be Suffocated

When born, man grows up within his environment that affects him in numerous unintentional ways. His ability to assume things develops and he constructs an endless bridge with his intentions and emotions that unknowingly become the reason of his great fall. Let me fill you in with my intention of writing this all. The kind of environment we live in constitutes the most vital factor in shaping the dangling society of ours. Our assumptions are our fears that live within us, and our life constitutes the bridge with our death as the final great fall.
Breathe to be suffocated
Smile to be vowed
Live to be buried alive
Respect to be disgraced

The social, economic and verbal discrimination is opening the avenues to an endless war of standards and the major victim of this discrimination is after all, women.

All of this seems quite common and contemporary. It is something that is part of us throughout our traditions or I would say – society. Sad but true that we are only living and feeling better by making others worse. Our self-created society is growing with the aid of the power of suppressing the mild and feeble. The social, economic and verbal discrimination is opening the avenues to an endless war of standards and the major victim of this discrimination is after all, women.
For my people have abandoned me
Like migrating birds they have gone
I am destroyed, bitter is my lament
Smoke lies within like a shroud.
Blood flows as the river does
The lamenting of women
Sadness abounds
I will be no more

It would be unjust to ignore this dilemma which is trending the hearts of women more, day by day. This is a male-dominant society and so are its traditions. In the not very distant past it was common that Arabs buried girls alive. Nowadays it is still the very same. There was a time in previous centuries when girls were considered a symbol of darkness and depression. With kingdoms emerging, heads of societies, soldiers, kings, and leaders were only men. But it was illogical to ignore women upfront, so a new tradition developed, probably among the Greeks that earlier used to suppress women. Late till the Egyptians came up and a female pharaoh was seen, the majority of thoughts did not appreciate gender equivalence. This however, is dating back with the history of ignorance. People might have upgraded their thoughts but the mindset and values in this society have actually not changed.
The freedom to live with one’s desires and to be able to choose without external pressures has never been acknowledged for the women in society. I have seldom visited a house where a boy is not preferred over a girl. That is where the problem begins.

The freedom to live with one’s desires and to be able to choose without external pressures has never been acknowledged for the women in society.

This society which claims to protect the delicacy of women snatches their freedom of expression. Shrill voices, delicacy, politeness, and shyness are words associated with women. They are not wrong, but one way or the other they force women to be nothing but only these.
I have seen this happening in my own family where even educated women are not allowed to speak their hearts out. It all suited the women of early times but not today.

A family with a girl holds the right to restrict her completely. The only reason that I have come across is the fear of losing respect and dignity, which forces parents to behave in this way.
This society has made discrimination so widespread that it deprives girls from their freedom of expression. Eyes are ready to follow a woman even before her shadow. When it comes to career selection a girl is always a future doctor irrespective of her intelligence and interest. When it comes to going out alone a girl is always feared to be followed. When it comes to expression a girl is always her mother’s tongue. When it comes to decision-making a girl is always her father’s decision. When it is the time to choose a life-partner a girl is her parents’ agreement.
Has anyone seen these rules written anywhere? Then why are they followed after all? We do not want to know why but we only praise our traditions.

Many problems will become solved from the day on when boys will not be preferred over girls. Until now, however, a girl’s opinion is seldom taken into account even if she gets married.
When a woman starts to realize their restrictions and baseless relations, it breaks her completely in the end. A woman in our society is dead before her death. The only thing she lives with is her power to hope for the possibility of her freedom, but eventually she ends up lost within herself.
The day we ignore all the customs and live equally, that day will be the victory of women’s emotions over their assumptions.
Live and let live!